Augustus Gloop, Augustus Gloop, the great big greedy nincompoop
Augustus Gloop, so big and vile. So greedy, foul and infantile
Come on we cried, the time is ripe, to send him shooting up the pipe.
But don't dear children be alarmed.
Augustus Gloop will not be harmed. Algustus Gloop will not be harmed.

Although of course we must admit, he will be altered quite a bit.
Slowly wheels go round and round, and cogs begin to grind and pound
We'll boil him for a minute more, until we're absolutely sure.
Then out he comes, by God, by grace, a miracle has taken place, a miracle has taken place.
This greedy brute, this louse's ear is loved by people everywhere.
For who could hate or bear a grudge against a luscious bit of FUDGE!